Sunday, January 11, 2009

Decisioning

After randomly looking up my sisters blog which has been inactive for over 6 months now (hers was a genuine, regularly updated blog and not 9 random sometimes substance lacking rants) I decided "I want to write in my blog again!" I have a new laptop, and it sure would make me look smart to sit around campus writing clever entries. This could become a daily habit for me. So, at 4 am in the morning on a week where I have not had one day of more then 5 hours of sleep, I decided to begin the never ending journey of blogging.

It was at this moment that I decided what I would make a post about. I regularly start things and do not finish them. For some reason I've even started to consciously realize this trend, and choose to send it to the back of my head.

This blog is a prime example of my habits. I started it and was really stoked about having a place to put all my thoughts, and maybe even have a few people read them. I started writing and making an effort to look for things in my day to day life that might make for interesting writing. I found a couple here and there, and then suddenly, lost complete interest in blogging altogether. Until this late night, the last time I even thought about blogging was my last post, almost a year ago. And here we are again, at square one.

Example two, one year while I was still in high school I asked for a weight bench for Christmas. I was going to get ripped, of course. I'd work out for a half an hour to an hour 3-4 times a week, and within a year, I'd be huge dude. Perfect. The thing is, it actually worked for a while. I kept with it for a month or so, and I could see a difference. Then, I just stopped, completely. For the last 5 years or so, it has collected dust and been used as a shelf for my mom's collection of holiday decorations, which by the way seems to grow perpetually.

Then just recently, I decided it would be a great idea to bring the bench to school with me. I could work out for a half an hour to an hour 3-4 times a week, and within a year, I'll be huge dude! Perfect. I cleaned up the dust that had not permanently been attached to it and brought it to school. It's been 4 days since I've been back, and it currently is holding my laundry basket and a box I have yet to unpack.

Ok, so I saw the trend. Then I started analyzing why I'm like this. I came up with things like "hey, maybe I have ADHD" or "hey, maybe I'm retarded." I think the answer that best fits though is that I make really rash decisions on whims and convince myself that I will be dedicated to follow through with something for once. As a student of Krannert School of Management, this not only bodes poorly to my personal career in the business field but also to businesses worldwide.

Honestly, I've become bored with this post already and forgot what point I was trying to make in the first place. It appears ADHD may have been a more logical conclusion to draw then I first thought.