Friday, April 25, 2008

Drew Carey Sucks.

Yes, that's right. I said it. Drew Carey is awful as the Price is Right host. When I first heard he was taking over I was excited. I loved Drew on Whose Line is it Anyways and his sitcom. Now that he is recording shows daily, and you get to see his true personality and not just lines put out by a team of writers, we get to see how much he sucks.

Drew basically has two types of jokes he perpetually uses on the Price is Right.

The first being about how all the prizes suck. He's made it his thing to make fun of just about every single prize. Does he not realize the unique prizes are what make the Price is Right fun? College kids go on the show and get excited to win an antique cabinet, and senior citizens get stoked about winning dirt bikes. It's part of the appeal to the show, and the jokes aren't even funny.

If he's not making fun of the prizes, he's making fun of the models. Basically taunting them not to get tired doing their job, holding those numbers up. He also says it's the easiest job on the planet.... I don't think it's that difficult to host the Price is Right.

Bring back Bob! I don't care if he is 100!

Thursday, March 20, 2008

Honestly!

I just wanted to thank my parents and my sister for instilling in me a strong sense of honesty and "do the right thing" mentality. Today, I was the last one to get off the bus, and as I was walking to get off, I found a wallet. It was laying open with what looked like a lot of money in it. I picked it up and turned it into the bus driver without a second though. In hind sight, it may not have been the best move since the bus driver is really a pretty shady character.

Also, having failed my finance test miserably I decided I need some ice cream to make me feel better. I stopped at Dairy Queen and it was closed which made me angry, so I stopped at Burger King instead to get a shake. The girl working the window was ridiculously stupid. They told me my order was $2.53 at the speaker so I got out $3.03. I get to the window and she says "hi, $5.56." And I was like for a shake? And she was like "Oh...Shake? Sorry....$3.03." I give her the $3.03 and she gives me back $5.50, and my shake. Being a business student, I know a good investment when I see one. Instead, I gave her the 5 dollars back, and didn't even alert her that she is too stupid to even work at Burger King.

So thanks mom, dad, and Becky, you cost me 5 dollars and a wallet.

Wednesday, January 23, 2008

Mmm...Green Beans!

I had a long night at work tonight and came home and went to the gym with my roommates. Lifted some and played basketball. I came home and was pretty worn out and hungry, so I went to the fridge and found this green bean casserole thing.

Of course, this thing happened to be microwavable. First off, the microwave directions were NINE steps. Fuck that. As sad as it is, I HATE things that have overly complicated MICROWAVE directions. Anything that I have to cook for 2 minutes. Then open a corner of the film covering and cook another minute. Then remove the film covering and cook 2 more minutes just really makes me want to go to the farm where these beans were grown, rent a crop duster, and dump gasoline on this microwavable bean guy's sorry plants.

Anyway...This casserole thing made me wonder...What the hell is casserole?! I have NO idea. My mom always made this thing called Hamburger Casserole. It has hamburger meet, noodles, and tomato sauce. Then she made Tuna Casserole. It has tuna, pasta, and some white stuff. Ok, so I thought casseroles had some type of pasta involved in them. Now this bean casserole comes along and just completely ruins something I thought I knew...Basically, my belief now is just anything edible can be a casserole as long as you throw any type of random ass sauce over it.

During all this I also realized how much of a love hate relationship I have with the microwave. Being honest, this machine has kept me alive the past 3 years of my life. Without it, I'd positively cease to exist. But DAMNIT microwave, cook something EVENLY for once in your life! I was eating these green beans for like 5 minutes and it was the perfect temperature, then suddenly, the next bite WHAM, my tongue was set ablaze. Quickly I laid out in my head the best course of action to ease the pain of my on-fire tongue. The solution: eat more green beans!

If I could just find those beans that were the good temperature again, it'd be all better. But no, the beans had turned to consistently giving me the sensation of eating something between molten steel and lava. I thought things were supposed to cool off over time. I've been outwitted and tricked by many animals in the past, but I don't think a vegetable has ever made me look like a fool.

Sunday, January 20, 2008

Saturday nights...

After a night of falling asleep with cups littered around you next to a trash can and your pants around your ankles, you kind of want to take it easy the next night. All too often near-death Fridays lead to very uneventful Saturdays, and I'm perfectly fine with that. Thanks to Wyatt though, for a late Christmas gift of a bottle of absinthe, I have something to look forward to next week. A new mind altering experience...

On the brighter side of things, Ben Folds will be here February 29th. I waited in line for only about an hour and a half or so and scored some half way decent tickets. Should be a fun time all around. Now, back to filling the space between...

Saturday, January 12, 2008

One of the millions...

So, I've begun my conquest through 3500 pages. Yes, I've become on the millions. I've started my journey through the magical world of Harry Butthole Pussy Potter. I've resisted since the beginning. At the start the excuse was I honestly didn't like reading that much. However, as of about 2 years ago I've started reading a lot more for fun. I liked the 5th movie when I watched it with my parents over Christmas break so I figured I'd give the books a try.

Here's the thing: I already am in love with them. I'm only half way through the second book and they are amazing. The talk is true, anyone of any age can enjoy these books. As long as you are somewhat of a dork already and can appreciate something designed for grade school children.

I was skeptical at first when I went to Borders to buy book one and could not seem to find the books anywhere. Asking the clerk "where can I find your Harry Potter selection" was as difficult question as I've ever had to ask in my life. But I had searched the literature section for a half hour and the entire rest of the store for another half an hour. Then clerk told me they were the children's section. Great. How embarassing right?

So I went to the children's section as less pedophile-like as I could and climbed over the kid's playing with those books the make noises when you push the buttons. I finally found the books and the parents that had been staring at me since I was in the children's section realized that I was just a dork. Thank heavens, a harmless dork.

I read the book and I'm a total believer. With my addictive personality though it's going to be a trip. I've already looked into applying for Hogwarts next semester. No reply yet from the letter I sent them. One thing is for sure though, when I finish book two I'll march right into the children's section with my head held high.