Mmm...Green Beans!

I had a long night at work tonight and came home and went to the gym with my roommates. Lifted some and played basketball. I came home and was pretty worn out and hungry, so I went to the fridge and found this green bean casserole thing.

Of course, this thing happened to be microwavable. First off, the microwave directions were NINE steps. Fuck that. As sad as it is, I HATE things that have overly complicated MICROWAVE directions. Anything that I have to cook for 2 minutes. Then open a corner of the film covering and cook another minute. Then remove the film covering and cook 2 more minutes just really makes me want to go to the farm where these beans were grown, rent a crop duster, and dump gasoline on this microwavable bean guy's sorry plants.

Anyway...This casserole thing made me wonder...What the hell is casserole?! I have NO idea. My mom always made this thing called Hamburger Casserole. It has hamburger meet, noodles, and tomato sauce. Then she made Tuna Casserole. It has tuna, pasta, and some white stuff. Ok, so I thought casseroles had some type of pasta involved in them. Now this bean casserole comes along and just completely ruins something I thought I knew...Basically, my belief now is just anything edible can be a casserole as long as you throw any type of random ass sauce over it.

During all this I also realized how much of a love hate relationship I have with the microwave. Being honest, this machine has kept me alive the past 3 years of my life. Without it, I'd positively cease to exist. But DAMNIT microwave, cook something EVENLY for once in your life! I was eating these green beans for like 5 minutes and it was the perfect temperature, then suddenly, the next bite WHAM, my tongue was set ablaze. Quickly I laid out in my head the best course of action to ease the pain of my on-fire tongue. The solution: eat more green beans!

If I could just find those beans that were the good temperature again, it'd be all better. But no, the beans had turned to consistently giving me the sensation of eating something between molten steel and lava. I thought things were supposed to cool off over time. I've been outwitted and tricked by many animals in the past, but I don't think a vegetable has ever made me look like a fool.

Saturday nights...

After a night of falling asleep with cups littered around you next to a trash can and your pants around your ankles, you kind of want to take it easy the next night. All too often near-death Fridays lead to very uneventful Saturdays, and I'm perfectly fine with that. Thanks to Wyatt though, for a late Christmas gift of a bottle of absinthe, I have something to look forward to next week. A new mind altering experience...

On the brighter side of things, Ben Folds will be here February 29th. I waited in line for only about an hour and a half or so and scored some half way decent tickets. Should be a fun time all around. Now, back to filling the space between...

One of the millions...

So, I've begun my conquest through 3500 pages. Yes, I've become on the millions. I've started my journey through the magical world of Harry Butthole Pussy Potter. I've resisted since the beginning. At the start the excuse was I honestly didn't like reading that much. However, as of about 2 years ago I've started reading a lot more for fun. I liked the 5th movie when I watched it with my parents over Christmas break so I figured I'd give the books a try.

Here's the thing: I already am in love with them. I'm only half way through the second book and they are amazing. The talk is true, anyone of any age can enjoy these books. As long as you are somewhat of a dork already and can appreciate something designed for grade school children.

I was skeptical at first when I went to Borders to buy book one and could not seem to find the books anywhere. Asking the clerk "where can I find your Harry Potter selection" was as difficult question as I've ever had to ask in my life. But I had searched the literature section for a half hour and the entire rest of the store for another half an hour. Then clerk told me they were the children's section. Great. How embarassing right?

So I went to the children's section as less pedophile-like as I could and climbed over the kid's playing with those books the make noises when you push the buttons. I finally found the books and the parents that had been staring at me since I was in the children's section realized that I was just a dork. Thank heavens, a harmless dork.

I read the book and I'm a total believer. With my addictive personality though it's going to be a trip. I've already looked into applying for Hogwarts next semester. No reply yet from the letter I sent them. One thing is for sure though, when I finish book two I'll march right into the children's section with my head held high.